I refuse to believe it...I simply won't.

I felt like writing earlier...about an hour ago. Now I'm just exhausted. At least I'm committed. I'm here, aren't I? I'm certainly not ALL here. Just...a tad.

So I woke up this morning at about 6:30, which is actually an hour earlier than I truly need to wake up in order to get the babygirl to school on time, but I wanted to be able to take my time with my morning, stretch a bit more before getting to the gym, deal with nearly-three attitude from a certain little princess. I got to the gym feeling great, despite having gotten relatively inadequate sleep last night. Figured it couldn't hurt to ask the good people at the Y if they had the ability and time to help me out with something...I need an accurate measurement of my body fat percentage. Need it. Caliper-style. Unfortunately for me, this particular facility doesn't offer that type of evaluation. Instead, we had to use this electronic gadget with technology very similar, if not identical, to the scale in my bathroom. So it tell me my BMI is something like 25.4. It HAS to be wrong. I honestly refuse to believe it. There's no way. I suppose there is *some* way. I just don't want to think about it. Here I am, feeling thinner than I have in years... and I get this kind of news. It really brings ya down, you know?

So I ran. Or at least I tried to run. Only got to about half a mile when my shins just wouldn't take it anymore. Switched to the elliptical. Got to three miles. Approximately 300 calories burned, 40 grams of fat. *sigh...* I've eaten more than I should have today so far... Let's see...Slimfast shake: 190 calories. Handful of raisins: 120 calories. Small bowl of cereal: 150. Are you serious? Yeah. And it's only 10:43 in the morning. Fail.

I have to go to school and therapy and a few hours. I'm going to go ahead and try to put this out of my mind (as much as is possible for a mind that never lets go of any of this, not even for a moment)...

On the bright side, a super fit chick at the gym said I was in great shape, that I looked really lean...which made me smile.