Monday, June 21, 2010

Throwin' up is bad, mmkay?

So I've only made myself vomit (approximately) five or six times over the past seven days. I think. I don't count. It doesn't matter.


I don't think it matters.


Point is this: I've had the most horrendously painful acid reflux (more than usual) nearly constantly for the past two days now.


It seems a tad early to have done any damage, I'd think. I've probably just aggravated my stomach lining a little, or upset my little acid producer guys in there. Stress, too. Bra too tight, maybe. Side effect of my medication. Any NUMBER of things.

Also puking.

I'm sure.



STOP IT, P.D.!!!


It's not okay. I'm not even sure why I'm doing it, when it happens.

It goes something like this:

Eat eat eat (no control) nom nom scarf shovel what? eat OH GOD, what the fuck have I done?? *grab handfuls of love handles* ... *stare in gaping horror* ... *think* ... *contemplate* ... *plot quickly* ... Toothbrush.

Getting "better" at doing it is oddly satisfying (how fucking sick is that? God...) and addictive.


NOT OKAY.



Ouch. TUMS. Rolaids. I have to go. Uncle's home. Love you all.

4 comments:

  1. Yeah I hear ya. I hate purging but get addicted real quickly. I do feel better after it's over, and that's the fucked up part..who feels good after puking? Well me. and maybe you.

    But we're cool right? It's all good? We've got a handle on this whole shebang! Love that your back posting again, I've missed you.

    Take care. Think thin :)

    -Sar

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  2. M√ľnchausen syndrome, much? it takes years of it to do damage, don't worry. and that you think you look thinner than your weight,shows that you are on your way to recovery! well done!

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  3. Yeah, purging is so horrible but it's so hard to stop!!
    Good luck with it girl, you can do it.

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  4. Purging simply compounds the problem... I feel like shit afterword. It makes me depressed.
    Stuff your face = fail, puke = double fail. Its abusive.
    I am in the same boat with you, stuffing my face like a fricking idiot. Ugh.
    It's the binging we need to work on, a serious disorder. Purging is not the cure.
    I lurve you sooo much girlie!
    xo's
    zen

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