Before you ask, yes...This IS, indeed, a pro-ana blog. I am a diagnosed sufferer of ED-NOS, as my habits are equally anorexic, bulimic, and binge eating disordered in nature. Not a thing I write here should be taken as anything but my own perceptions, opinions, and random thoughts. This is just me, in all of my (un)happiness and disarray and confusion and dedication and insanity. Enjoy.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Ana's waiting...
She wants to share with me her secrets,
she says.
I swear to her that I'm listening, please...
but she softly shakes her head.
No...
Her whisper is faint, her perfect face hidden
by cascading locks that float about as if tossed by the waters of an untouched stream.
Effortlessly, she lifts one finger to her lips,
and I find myself in awe of a beauty words will never convey.
Delicate, fragile, and yet glowing with power and grace,
she steps forward, placing one slender hand over my heart.
You are not ready.
My chest aches with the words that wish to escape, but cannot...
not here, not in the presence of the goddess, herself.
She is a lithe, glimmering fairy of untold possibility,
draped gracefully, as a queen, in her elegant silks of the deepest ruby red.
I am an imperfect soul, forever reaching for all that she is,
but still so naive and foolish and selfish, like a child beside her.
I want all of you, she whispers. You must be entirely mine...
Only then...
Will I be yours.
My knees are weak beneath me, my hollow stomach quivers with the liquid butterflies she has incited within me, and my voice quavers as I tremble,
and she is gone...
...before I can even make my promise.
Please, come back...Ana, please...
I...
...will just have to show her.
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I love this post so much, it's beautiful. Thank you for your comment on my blog! Fasting is so wonderful, it's not as hard as you may think. I know you can do it! Just think of food as NOT an option. Hang in there darling, I believe in you. :)
ReplyDelete~Kaye