Before you ask, yes...This IS, indeed, a pro-ana blog. I am a diagnosed sufferer of ED-NOS, as my habits are equally anorexic, bulimic, and binge eating disordered in nature. Not a thing I write here should be taken as anything but my own perceptions, opinions, and random thoughts. This is just me, in all of my (un)happiness and disarray and confusion and dedication and insanity. Enjoy.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Yet another update for this evening...bored yet?
Worked out a bit, but only a bit. The little one saw to it that I had very little time to myself, successfully driving my boyfriend and his brother pretty crazy while I did the best I could on that old-school elliptical. Don't get me wrong...I am eternally thankful for the presence of that thing...it's just so different from what I'm accustomed to.
Only burned 230 calories or so. I know that every little bit helps...so that's why I'm not eating for the rest of the night. I will do everything I can to distract myself from the hunger, the weakness (both physical and mental), until bedtime, at which point there will no longer be any opportunity to eat. I know that today is simply an "off" day, so I am actually not in too much despair over what I feel was a failure today. 900 calories minus the 230...not too horrible, but still...weak. I ate when I wasn't even that hungry. Not again; I won't let it happen. Tomorrow's scale had better be lower than this morning's...and then I'll be happy.
It's 7:30. The little one is awake and never went down for a nap. I'm hoping this will result in an earlier bed time than normal, and I'll have some extra time to chill out.
My hands and arms look thin today, at least. My midsection should take some notes.
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