Tuesday, April 20, 2010







it says to me.

I step off.



I want to scream and sigh and jump up and down all at the same time.

But instead...I stare, and smile. A huge, stupid, silly HAPPY smile.

I'm doing this shit. 600 calories a day. 500. Then 800. Then 750. And it hurts so much, and it scares me, and it's the most insane physical euphoria I've ever experienced.

And it IS worth it.

(insert really fast-talking rambly jumbly advertiser guy's voice giving fine print after a car commercial): PhantasmagoricalDelusion is currently endeavoring to land a patent on the inability to make up her mind AND a copyright on the state of being which will heretofore be called "ConstantChangingFuckingContradiction, And NOT GIVING A SHIT."

Here's a crappy pic from my crappy camera phone.

I love you, skinnies. Yes, all of you. Don't argue. We are thin. Somewhere, in the deepest, strongest, most brilliant parts of ourselves, where there is nothing but perfection waiting to be discovered, we are all thin.

Find it.


  1. *throws confetti in the air*

    A big congratulatory hug for you today.


    P/s - you are awesome. (:

  2. YAY! Amazing! It's coming off so fast-you'll be seeing the 120s in no time at all-in fact at this rate they'll pass by like a blurr.

    You look so skinny darl. Are you sure you're 5'6"?? 'Cause I'm the exact same height and you look skinnier than me. Lovin those hips.

    Congrats and love love love! xx

  3. FUCKIING-A MAN! Yeah remember that from uh, like grade school? Just be glad I didn't say "nifty".

    Sheeeaaat. You blow me away girl! btw... you inspired me to get off my ass and fast yesterday

    ... drum-roll please...

    I lost 4 lbs!!

    The lypo-fairy took em last night. Now I am only 2lbs away from your tiny tush.

    Feeling a bit of a race coming on? Hmmm?? Ah, fuck it! You'd SO kick my ass.

    xoxo zen

  4. Damn it... your two and 1/2 inches taller than me too. I hate and lurve you so much.


  5. i WILL find it at some point in time
    ur brilliant girl, its totally worth it
    keep at it

  6. WOW you look awesome!! Keep up the good work you SKINNY BITCH!! JK, Much love <3

  7. OMG well doen hun. You look amazing...x

  8. (: great job!!
    I'm so proud of you.
    You look AMAZING.

  9. YAAAAAY! Congratulations! *does the happy dance-jig all over the cafe I'm stealing WiFi from*

    You rock my curly locks, lady, and totally inspire me to make this sensationally mouth-melting, cal-packed sammich my last solid consumed for the day, putting my day at 700. Oh. Yeah. Baby.

    Rock on!

  10. OMG you look so good !!!!

    is it working eating so many calories?? i'm under like 500 ! :/ and i'm losing about a pound a day .. 300gr well only the last day but i think tomorrow will be the same .. AT LEAST! hope so

  11. Awesome awesome awesome awesome! You go girl :)

  12. You look SO GREAT!! I am so happy and proud of you for reaching such a great number!! And yes, we are all thin, we just need to realize it and achieve it :)

  13. Wow! Congratulations for all your perseverence and hard work!

    You are inspiring me to be fit and skinny again! Just gotta get off my fat ass and GET MOVING. ;)

  14. Well done!!!!!! I am so pleased and happy and proud of you. You are so strong and wonderful :) Congrats my dear!!!

  15. i swear my jaw dropped reading this post.

    i feel so inspired by you! keep up the good work, im so excited for you! you look amazing.


  16. That photo is incredible. Sometimes I feel like the skinny girl inside me is just a figure of my imagination and not someone I will ever get to meet, but people like you remind me that it's possible. Congratulations, you are amazing :)

  17. My goodness, all of your good progress is so exciting to me! : )

    Also you look much thinner than 130! Like I'd guess 115 at the most just by looking at you. How tall are you?

  18. Oh my lord !! You look SOOOO thin, MUCH thinner than 130 even. How tall are you ? CONGRATULATIONS. It was all worth it ! xxxxx

  19. thats so wonderful :)
    well done~

  20. Got a piercing collection started for you now P.D.

    Lovely suggestion!

    xoxo zen