Not surprised, you say?? Yeah, me fucking neither.
All day binge. You know the kind. The worst kind. I won't even name all the shit I ate because it doesn't matter.
I also didn't work out. I also didn't purge. I also didn't go to chemistry today, but instead went shopping and bought some clothes in hopes of making myself feel better.
Found a pair of slacks I liked. Tried them on, loved how they fit. Checked the tag.
Are you fucking serious? There's really no way.
So I tried on some shorts in a size 5. Yep, just as I figured. Too damn small. I knew it was a fluke. Don'tcha just hate that? When one brand says you're skinny and another says you're a friggin' land whale.
Whatever.
I bought some skinny jeans that are two sizes too small to remind me of my goals. Hope that works, since nothing else does anymore. :/
Baby B's Valentine's Day party at school was today. Took a few pictures for you ladies. :D
Here is a random shot of my shoulder. I wanted to post this because, here before you, is an image of the part of me I most enjoy when I am thinnish. When I start to gain weight, this little set of ridges and bumps in my shoulder/clavicle area starts to soften, and is far less prominent. This is how I tell if I'm doing okay or failing, without the scale.
Oh, and I got some cute socks. I wanted you to see them.
Umm...I promised myself this would be short. I should go. Poor K is sitting over there on his computer bored out of his mind, and all I want to do is curl up with my tiny laptop and all of your blogs...and another 500 calorie serving of Godiva chocolate truffles like I had earlier today. OH YES. That's what I said. F...M...L.
<3
Your daughter's so cute I wish I could carry her. And your collarbones look amazing! ;)
ReplyDeleteEven if you binged, this post sounds really upbeat (retail therapy always works) so take today as an off-day? You can always get back on track tomorrow, or anytime you like when you feel ready.
*hugs*
LOVE the socks!! I have a sock collection...I love them. Your daughter is so cute!
ReplyDeleteAlso wow at the shoulders! very very jealous!
xxx
Haha you crack me up! Oh man, chocolate! Wellll it is about to be be valentine's day!
ReplyDeleteNice socks and awesome shoulder!
Your personality really shines through, in posts like this. It's a good one ;)
xo doll.
Baby B is such a cutie. And it sounds like you needed a healthy dose of retail therapy on your Mental Health day. Hope it helped?
ReplyDeleteAnd I also hate size discrepancies. Although I like them in the smaller range than I do in the larger range. I hate to "fit" into a pair of "9" jeans when I'm a 7. Oink!
peace out
Emily
Amazing, this place. I don't think I've ever paid a visit...
ReplyDeleteBinge days come in a pair with All or Nothing cognitive distortions. I know those too well.
I wrote an English essay on the size variations of designers these days...don't get me started. Grr.
And she's too adorable. <3
"Here's a random shot of my shoulder..."
Yeah right, a random shot of booobage!
(I can be mature, I swear).
But a way of measurement with out using the scale (that is inaccurate anyway) is most helpful. And very clever.
Oh, and those socks look really fun!
your little girl is beautiful. i have a little girl too. she will be 3 in sept. let me ask you a question (sorry it's off topic... well, kinda). are your haunted by the possibility of your daughter having an eating disorder? i struggle with it so much. prior to being a mother, i could care less about what i was doing. but now, since i've relapsed a year after her birth... i've felt so guilty and yet, no matter the logic behind that guilt, i continue to restrict and mess with my food. recently i've been having nightmares about it. i really don't want her to deal with this problem. blah. any advice or comments?
ReplyDeleteAw! We all have those binges, that's for sure. Today's a new day! Woot!
ReplyDeleteYour child is so cute, makes me anticipate having my own one day. :)
Those socks are awesome, your clavicle shot makes me envious, yet inspired, and I bet you really are that size 3. Everything else just makes me love you all the more.
Keep writing! I love it!
Have a wonderful day, darling!
I just wanted to say hey, and thanks for the post on my latest entry! It really made me smile :) I love writing, and sometimes wonder if I write too much, and people get sick of it, so it was good to hear that people enjoy my ramblings and banter! (And, I am a grammar-lover. You know, one of those who is obsessed with the correct placement of commas and contractions? Thanks for noticing!!) I am working on reading your blog from the beginning; I like getting to know everyone I follow from the beginning, so I might not comment on your most recent stuff for a few days until I get caught up, but rest-assured, I am reading! I always enjoy finding someone around my age on Blogger. Not to say I don't enjoy reading the entries written by 16- and 17-year-olds, I do! I follow people of every age! But it's nice to have someone your own age to talk with, and know what each other is going through. Just to know that women my age ARE going through this makes me feel... not accepting of what I am doing, because I know it's not healthy... but not alone, I guess. Not obsolete :)
ReplyDeleteYou stay lovely yourself! xo