Sunday, February 28, 2010

Too much liquor = angry tummy (and yet minimal regret?)

Give thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow. ~Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros

Isn't that a nice quote? I'm thinking I should try my hardest to read it daily...perhaps print it up so that I can post it on my mirror. It'd be nice if I could follow its advice.

I'm hoping this will be a short post. My belly is burning, kind of like the way it does at 3 in the morning when I give it a whole bunch of laxatives for dessert the night before...Yeah. Ouchie.

So after two days of partying hard and not working out, eating too much at said parties and bingeing here at home yesterday... The scale... The lying sack of shit scale... :P ...felt it necessary to give me a reading of 137.0 today. Yeah, I know, it's not possible. Two pounds in one day and one night? To be honest, I'm not even worried about it. Water weight. It'll be gone in two days. Yay for being rational and not panicking, right?

I did kind of panic last night, though. I had this awesome outfit all picked out and it was lovely, and I fully intended on taking pictures for YOU lovelies, but things didn't go as planned. Firstly, the overshirt/flowy open cardigan thing...I don't even know what you'd call it...maybe I'll try and find a picture of something similar...Ah, here we are:

So anyway, K didn't like it. "You should take this off..." He's not a big fan of the billowy type fashions women are wearing these days. "But it's what women want to wear, it's in style, and it's comfortable, etc..." was my reasoning for wanting to wear it over my tank top last night. His response? "Honestly, though...What do men LIKE about women?" ...

He has a point.

In that type of clothing, as with most of the big flowy dresses and tunics out there, my entire curvy frame is concealed. Not to say that I'm necessarily "curvy," in the traditional sense, but I'm not exactly showing off my hips or boobies in that outfit, either. WHICH IS WHY I WANTED TO WEAR IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Ah well, so I take it off. I mean, he's the one whose opinion matters the most to me, so he wins this one.

Then I catch a full-on shot of myself in the mirror, tank top and jeans. UGH.


That's all I could think. I felt the familiar lump form quickly in the back of my throat and warm, wet tears sting my eyes. "I can't do this," I heard myself saying.


I swallowed, best I could, past the steadily growing anxiety in my esophagus. Repeated myself. "I can't do this."

I just looked so...wretchedly...horrid. I wished immediately and earnestly for the ability to borrow his eyes for a moment, to see myself as I would be seen by "normal" people at this social function, where the aim was to have fun and let loose, not hide in the darkest corner with a glass of water and a fake smile. I suddenly didn't want to go at all.

But no. I can't borrow anyone else's eyes. I have these, and these are telling me that I'm fatter today than I was a year ago at 150. WHY? God, it fucking sucks.

Anyway, enough whining. We went to the party; it took me no less than ten minutes of fiddling with my shirt, jeans, and belt to get the outfit to look even close to acceptable, but definitely NOT flattering. My ass looked huge, I kept thinking... My stomach, hips, and Gaaaaahhd, my THIGHS!!! Touching! In the tiniest place, and barely, but still touching! And I was painfully aware of the status of my thighs for the duration of the party. Yes. Because we all know how awesome that is.

I got pretty drunkish, but not wasted like the night before. I had about four or five bites of sugary white icing chocolate birthday disaster. It was wonderful, of course. Some tortilla chips. Crackers. Dip. Whatever. I think my headache wants to make me not care.

So much for being a short post, huh? Yeah... Deal.

Oh, and I'm thinking I should probably go back through all of my old posts and delete the pictures that include my face, little B, K, etc. Just...because. I mean, I have no qualms at all with sharing them with you guys, but they're also just out there for the world to see, and I'm feeling paranoid lately. Maybe there's no reason for feeling that way, but all the same... Yeah. Prolly gonna do that here pretty soon.

Ummmmmm...what else...oh yeah!

I love you! <3

I'm off to recover from the alcohol (thanks for the advice regarding the hangovers, ladies...I appreciate them immensely!) and probably make breakfast for the both of us (though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't somewhat sickly enjoying the lack of appetite I'm experiencing as a direct side effect of aforementioned alcohol consumption...) :P

I hope you've all had a good weekend.. Let's try and make this week our own. Take it by storm and whatnot. :)


  1. Isn't it funny how some of the things that we women think look so fashionable and stylish are some of the things that guys look at and go "WTF is she wearing? That looks hideous!" Most guys would be happy if we all wore jeans and a tank top every day. But oh well, I dress for myself :) If you like that cardigan, you should wear it! I think the flowy things like that look gorgeous.

    Good luck on battling the hangover. I know how shitty the morning after can be ;) Water and Gatorade!! Eggs and salsa if you need solid food.


  2. That overshirt/flowy open cardigan thing is lovely and feminine! Wear what you feel pretty in. Shit, guys think we are sexy wearing just a thong and stilettos, doesn't mean I'm fucking doing it!

    xoxo zen