I feel I've been a bad blogger.
I haven't been posting as regularly as I should, and I haven't been reading the way I'd like. Ah, school. It's getting rough, mid-terms are coming up, and portfolios for art and poetry are in the works. Add all of this to trying to maintain a consistently awesome relationship with K and of course, above all else, offering up my very best attempts at being a flawless mother to my little B, and I'm nearly too busy to even think about food.
*pauses*
Bahahahaha! >< LMAO, okay, all right, geez, haha, sorry. Catching my breath. That was a good one. I almost managed to keep a straight face.
The obsession never fades. I'm glad for it, and terrified by it. You know how it goes.
I'm sorry that I'm not feeling very eloquent today. I've been writing nonstop, it seems, for classes...Perhaps the part of my brain that loves words is getting overloaded. Meh. I noticed that I'm up to 74 followers. Woohoo!! Thank you, guys! You totally rock my socks. Seeing that is what got me here, and writing, instead of just reading.
Uh...there's this girl practicing her theater lines at the table across from me very loudly...it makes it hard for me to hear my internal monologue. She's very loud. But she's pretty good. So.
Yes, I said 'at a table.' Implying that I'm in the cafeteria. Yes. Eating? Yes. This spicy Asian chicken vegetable dish with eggplant, peppers, onions, olives, and mushrooms. Chicken, naturally. And you know? I don't feel bad. It's odd. It's dangerous. Maybe it's because my restriction has been going relatively well, for the most part, save the two slices of pizza and tiramisu I had last night at dinnertime with B. She needed some quality Mommy time, and I realized I needed some quality time with her, as well. We shared pizza and I didn't feel bad about that either. That brought my calorie count for yesterday to a HUGE 1800. The day before? 1,000, after a 350 calorie workout. Huh. Yes. The gym is in my near future. Very near. Nearly immediate.
I haven't weighed myself since Sunday. My goal is waiting til Friday. I think I can do it. It's pretty easy, really. Just walk past the bathroom, go directly to the kitchen, and have a huge glass of water, first thing in the morning. As soon as there's anything in my body, liquid or food, I no longer consider my weight for that day viable, or worthy of consideration. It's not accurate in my mind, and so there's no longer any draw to get on the scale, just so long as I can get something in my stomach pretty immediately. Not a problem.
What is a problem? I've got a ton of assignments to get done and very little motivation... AND I have to pee so badly ALL out of nowhere that I think it might be dangerous for me to stand up just yet...Yeah, my bladder is clinically insane.
I love you all. I hope you are well. <3
Ah, you are hysterically funny in some of the greatest ways. I hope you get to go pee right now, please, for the love of all things liquid.
ReplyDeleteAs far as your chaotic schedule goes with school and family, I do believe you are ROCKING out to the flow. Keep on keepin' on, you're doing wonderfully, and there's no way you could be a bad blogger. You're keeping all of us entertained and updated, whilst juggling full-time Mom-dom, and full-time school. So, chillax. :)
You're a smart cookie[pardon the irony] for weighing yourself once a week, that's something I should do.. everytime I weigh myself, I always curse my stupidity for thinking that any food I've put in will miraculously make my weight go down. Odds are against me. So perhaps I'll follow you in more ways than one?... *dons black velcro jumpsuit and cat mask* Bahahaha
Duhn-duhn-duhn.
I love your blog..you're so witty :)
ReplyDeleteAlso sounds like you are busy!! I love being busy recently, the busier the better!
Hope you have a great week
xxx
I love the liquid scale trick!
ReplyDeleteOtherwise I try to "guesstimate" my weight and always end up deducting a couple pounds for one cup of morning coffee.
xoxo zen
Good luck with all your midterms!
ReplyDeleteMy hell week for mine is next week....ugh shoot meeeeee
Don't worry about slip ups. As long as you over all consistent and never give up than you are SET! :)
Stay Strong<3
Sounds like you are having a decent day :) Oh man, everytime you talk about your daughter it makes me smile. It sounds like you are such a good mom!
ReplyDeleteAAAAAAAND I do want to read your hugelongreply very soon, but priorities, my dear, priorities... *sigh*
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your villanelle! I'm going to look up what that is, now. Teehee. What's the topic? See, you've got balls, because you're busting ass with life! [I mean that! haha]
Wow, I admire your strength to not get on the scale! It is a struggle for me every single time I go into the bathroom to not rip all my clothes off and jump on the scale. As it is, I weigh myself at least twice a day, and sometimes three or four, depending on if I take shower.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand about the school crap. Our finals for this block of classes are coming up soon, and I just haven't had motivation to study lately, so I am going to have to buckle down here sometime soon. It's hard when food, or lack thereof it, is all you can think about lol!
Stay strong! xo
Sounds like you're doing well. Keep it up :)
ReplyDeleteAnd good luck getting all of your work done!
Yay for not getting on the scale! (:
ReplyDeleteMy stomach rumbled when I read about the spicy Asian chicken vegetable dish. Was it a stir-fry? I LOVE stir-frys.
I have exams coming up next week too. Strangely, saying that they're seven days from today sounds a lot sooner than saying they're one week from now.
All the best for your mid-terms! (:
*hugs*