Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My scale can't make up its mind.

133.6 or 133.8??

Do I even care??

No! :D The answer to that question is a FIRM N-o. Know why? Because yesterday was 134.6, and the day before that was 135.something or other... 133 is fine with me, regardless of what follows that decimal, at this point.

190 calories of cereal and fat free half-n-half. I'm fine with this, also. Today is a 1,000 calorie day (yesterday was 800, but I only made it up to about 750). I pick these calorie goals pretty randomly, basing them only on what the scale says and how I felt the day prior: yesterday was total shit, and I'm getting/have gotten quite sick, so I've course I'm feeling even MORE weak and cruddy than I usually would on such little food coupled with such physical exertion. Yesterday, for example, I felt so horridly dragged down and shitty that I actually fell asleep with little B after reading her bedtime stories around 9:30, even though I have tons of poetry reading stuff to do before this afternoon. Oh, and her bed? Toddler sized. So imagine yours truly curled up in a nearly fetal position, legs wrapped up and around a three-year-old squirmer of an "unsleepy" princess, waking up at about 1 AM wondering, "What the hell?" I HAVE READING TO DO!!! But no. After standing up, nearly fainting, and resigning myself to the fact that I'd probably get no quality studying done anyway, I went to my bed and slept. Woke up this morning feeling weak. Sick. Duh. I consumed 750 calories yesterday and burned about three times as many throughout the day. Naturally, one would expect some weakness....and weight loss... :D

All right, it's 7 AM, time to wake the little one and get her ready for school. I've got a busy day ahead of me (Day...5? of no Wellbutrin...GODS, wish me luck with that...Fuck.) so I'll get gone. I hope you all have a lovely day/evening/night/morning/life... and I'll be back as soon as circumstances allow. <3


  1. Thank you for your words, they really do mean alot. I feel the same way in reading other's thoughts put to paper, or screen, rahter. I can almost always relate, and it's sad that it feels good. Together I think we can all make it through this, better and stronger individuals who possess and utilize the abilities to be happy and also make others happy in the process. I read everything you write, and even if I don't comment, I still thank you for sharing. :) Hope you have a wonderful week.

  2. Thank you for your kindness and reassuring comments. They always help!

    I hope you're feeling better - both health wise and meds wise. Soon you'll get it all straightened out and it will be back to life as normal.

    Thanks again, and talk to you soon <3

  3. Get well soon! I'm sending you balloons and flowers in my mind. :)