Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Old pictures...only 10 lbs ago. And other stuff.

About this time last year, I had a good friend of mine and emerging makeup artist/photographer help me out with some Valentine's Day photos for my man. I loved them. He posted them all up in his closet, and there they have stayed since then.

I took a good look at them tonight and couldn't help but think: "Wow...I actually thought I looked good back then..." but obviously, I didn't...and, "Man, I was only about 145...ten lbs heavier than I am now... but DAMN, there's a huge difference." I look much leaner now, and I'm glad for it. Thank Ana for the elliptical machine. ;)

I think I'll post a few of them here. Mind you, these are pictures taken of pictures, using a pretty shitty camera phone, so please excuse the quality. Frankly, I'm just really proud of myself for the transformation, as minor as it may be...I thought I'd remained pretty static for a while...Suppose not. :)

I don't really feel like writing tonight. I think I'm just frustrated and annoyed, and all of the bothered jumblings of my mind are suffocating the poetry and intelligent thought that simply *must* be there somewhere.

As I sit here at K's house, waiting for him to come home, the atmosphere still smells like the dinner I prepared for him earlier. Love cooking for that man.

He's gonna fall in love with that chicken friend steak, I'm sure of it.

I chewed and spit four bites of it. Why? Well...the first bite was to see if it tasted any good. Have to try it before I serve it to him, right?

Second, third, and fourth bites were because I really wanted to eat the stuff. But I won't let myself do that. Not after the relatively good day I've had. Can't go ruining it, especially so late in the evening.

Started my day with a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit..about 270 calories or so. Went to the gym and burned about 650 calories before I couldn't take the weakness anymore. My count, as of 9:09 PM, is at about 1,100 calories, and that's approximating pretty high. I don't know exactly how much of the oil in that c/s steak made it down my throat, or how much of the fat from the three -- count 'em, THREE -- Atkins granola/protein bars managed to sneak its way into my stomach, despite my very best efforts to get it all in the cup. Yeah...this c/s stuff is getting to be more of a regular occurrence. True binges have all but stopped. This is no coincidence. I'm okay with this. Definitely the lesser evil, Blue Butterfly. ;)

I said I didn't feel like writing and that's still true...and yet I'm writing. Huh. It's just that the little one is sitting next to me here on the futon, kicking me "on assident" every now and then...Dora the Explorer is a little louder than the voice in my head, and the kitchen is so full of disgusting dirty dishes and greasy pots and pans that I can hardly think of anything but getting in there and cleaning them before K gets home. Yes, this is HIS house, and NO, I don't live here...but I like to do things like that for him, you know? Kind of want to portray myself as the super-efficient housewife type even as I also *naturally* emanate the sexy-ass soon-to-be-ridiculously-thin MILF vibe as well...Ideal partner, yeah? :P

Okay, I'm sorry. I'll stop now. Any comments on how crazy I am will be read and considered, but not in earnest.

I've done a lot of reading of your blogs, and if I didn't manage to comment (yet), I'm sorry. I will do my best to get caught up as soon as possible.

On the brightest side... TATTOO time is coming up! Thursday!!! Almost here! :D

(For anyone who's either had their lip pierced or is close to someone who has, I'd really like to hear from you...I'm still on the fence and I'm so terrified of (A) the needle and (B) scarring or permanent HUGE holes in my face...)

SO yeah. Leaving now. Thanks for reading!!


  1. Thanks for the comment! Just wanted to say that you're NOT a shitty buddy, and I haven't been around much either. But I love knowing that we are still in this together!

    Congrats to you for making it to the gym faithfully. Even if the restricting is a little shaky right now, the gym habits are a wonderful accomplishment. Seriously, 650 calories burned! That's awesome :)

    Have a lovely evening! <3

  2. It's really ballsy of you to share not only photos of you, but heavier photos of you. Are you sure it was only 10 pounds ago? You look so tiny and (warn a girl if I'm gettin sketchy) so much tighter now. Thank you for your thinspo! It's exactly the kick in the pants I need to get out of this "woe is me" kick and start losing again!!

  3. Sweetie you are gorgeous! Those are lovely pics that you took last year.

    And yay for the upcoming new tattoo! I can not wait to see the photos. Where are you having it placed?

  4. WOW - just ten pounds? I feel like such an asshole saying that but honestly you look at least 15lbs lighter, seriously. And I mean that in the nicest - you look fucking amazing kind of way!

    Tattoo time? So exciting! I'm getting the itch for another one too. Addictive.

    "on assident" lmao. I said it out loud when I read it - so cute!

    You absolutely emanate "sexy-ass soon-to-be-ridiculously-thin MILF vibe" =P


    Hope you didn't have a sucky suck day... On assident made my day too =)

  5. You looked beautiful, and look even more so now :)
    Xx. Lillie